from ashes to life

fake jewlery lies cold on my neck
you said you'd be back by now
but my coffee's run cold
and im tired of drawing imaginary animals
over my breath against the windshield

it seems like i'm good at this
i turn around and the night is filled
with people holding hands
strangers who made choices
maybe that is just not for me

i try to let go of everything
that defines me
who says im uncapable of changing?
i cut my bracelets off
and see as pieces of my blonde hair
fall into the ground
"nothing defines me" i whisper

i walk in the street alone
because this is how i raised myself
and it's they way i learned
to fall in love with stranger's eyes
and make stories about that guy's backpack
and my blue shoes

this is the way i create my world
out of what autumn rips from the trees in october
this is how what looks like trash to you
defines me

so maybe I'll go back to braiding my hair
and creating monsters out of aluminum fold
and naming dry leaves and taking them home
to keep them from their fatal destiny

this is how i populate my world
with things i believe are beautiful
this is how i feel special
when people in the street look at me thinking im odd

because as a child
i never wanted to be one of the rest.
and as a grown up
i only want to be a child